Someone in Lee County claiming to have explicit knowledge of divine matters has apparently begun an issue advocacy campaign on behalf of Satan, the Prince of Darkness.
That’s the takeaway from at least two political campaign signs which sprang up in Sanford sometime Thursday night or Friday morning.
“Support Satan,” the one-sided, one-colored sign states in a relatively bizarre syntax most likely emblematic of a Hell-based regional dialect. “Vote: Pro LGBT Pro Choice Candidates.”
The signs exhorting the alleged electoral preferences of the Father of All Lies had been placed at the intersection of Carbonton Road and Carthage Street, and at the intersection of Carbonton Road and Palmer Drive.
It’s unclear whether campaign finance reports are required to document this kind of political spending, and it was unknown as of 5 p.m. Friday whether the Lee County Board of Elections had any on file. Generally, political spending in amounts less than $100 is permitted without the requirement of such reports, although it’s unknown how much the signs cost, how many of them were deployed by campaign volunteers for the King of Hell, and whether advertising which doesn’t explicitly advocate for or against particular candidates is even subject to regulations by earthly governments.
Satan could not be reached for comment.
This is awesome. Vote Satan!
Pulitzer material here. Nice work.
Satan has always been in favor of personal liberty and opposition to tyrants.