(Note: This post was part of our 2018 April Fools’ coverage and is very obviously a joke.)

The Lee County Board of Education, facing pressure by local Republicans for their decision to move the next elementary school to a “crime-ridden area” of Sanford, voted on April 1 to move the controversial Wicker School to Cary.

“We decided Cary was, by far, the safest spot for this school,” one of the board’s Republicans, who asked the Rant to not print their name unless they did it in bold (which we refused), said. “Cary has a great reputation. For safety, that is. Safety.”

Asked about the costs to bus students 30-plus miles, the board member said something confusing about vouchers and charter schools. They also expressed relief that the school would not be painted pink.

“This gives us more money to arm teachers,” they said. “Something else about school choice and something something something charter something.”

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